HadaCho is Back/BlueMonk Stays On/
Another Katy/A Needy Beysshoes/
Hillary Out for Adoption


A One-Act Play:

Creepy Loner: Did you have another date, Godwit?
Godwit935: I have grown tomatoes in five-gallon
pots and they do well up to a point, but never as
well as in-ground tomatoes. Same for peppers.
Prospect26: And how about you? How long have
you been gardening?
Creepy Loner: Speaking of tomatoes and five-gallon
pots...did you have another date?
Knowjuan2: my peppers thrive in the pots
Godwit935: To whom are you speaking, Creepy?
Creepy Loner: You.
Forkrereredux: To youm.
Creepy Loner: Yron.
Knowjuan2: the tomatoes dont do as good but they
dont do to bad
Godwit935: Creepy, if you attach a name to the person
to whom you are speaking, it's much better.
Creepy Loner: I did.
Creepy Loner: Creepy Loner: Did you have another date, Godwit?
Creepy Loner: ...
Creepy Loner: Godwit.
CordialCactus: another? as in one previously?
Creepy Loner: Yes...
Creepy Loner: Godwit had a date.
Creepy Loner: He didn't say much about it, though.
Forkrereredux: Godwit has a boyfriends.
Creepy Loner: Mentioned it the other night.
Knowjuan2: you get some godwit?
CordialCactus: good for godwit... that shatters my hermit
image of him... yay
Godwit935: Creepy, it's tired out....get a new schtick.
Creepy Loner: I'm not cracking jokes - I'm asking about
your date.
Creepy Loner: Tell us.
Creepy Loner: We're interested.
Godwit935: Creepy, speak for yourself.
Creepy Loner: Was your date funny?
Creepy Loner: Tell me.
Knowjuan2: inquiring minds want to know
Creepy Loner: I'm interested.
Prospect26: my first garden was in 1970...
Creepy Loner: See?
Forkrereredux: godwit, fork has to urinate. will you open
your mouth?
CordialCactus: interesting: Know wants to know about
your date.
Godwit935: Creepy, try coming up with something interesting
to say or talk about. You too, Fork.
Creepy Loner: We are talking about something interesting...
Creepy Loner: You're not.
Creepy Loner: Tell us about the date.
Forkrereredux: godwit's mouth ~~~> =-O <~~~ fork's urine
Godwit935: Creepy, you're too dull.
CordialCactus: yuck fork
CordialCactus: the word urine is good for what it decribes
though
Forkrereredux: Godwit935: Mmm. I likes watersports :)
CordialCactus: yucky word for a yucky waste product
Godwit935: Sigh.
CordialCactus: overusing the word yucky
CordialCactus: alright.. off to read
Knowjuan2: rofl, poor wit
CordialCactus: toodalloooo
Creepy Loner: Adios.
Forkrereredux: godwit, when are we going to the bar?
Creepy Loner: I want to go to the bar, too.
Creepy Loner: Baseball is over, right?
Knowjuan2: i quit drinkin and drugin a couple years ago
Godwit935: Fork, in earlier times, had I met you in a bar,
you would not have fared well.
Prospect26: I have been gardening since 1970.
Forkrereredux: is that right, godwit? how can you be so sure?
Godwit935: Fork, from experience.
Creepy Loner: Godwit would have ripped Dr. Fork a new
*sshole with his razor-sharp tongue...
Forkrereredux: lol
Knowjuan2: rofl
Forkrereredux: godwit is a thug
Creepy Loner: Yo.
Creepy Loner: Yo yo.
Godwit935: You know when you're in trouble in a bar, Fork?
Forkrereredux: when they run out of yuengling?
Godwit935: When the door is locked behind you, Fork.
Forkrereredux: what kind of hillbilly bar is that?
Creepy Loner: Dundundun!
Godwit935: One short, Creep.
Forkrereredux: what happens when the door is locked?
Creepy Loner: For the real "lockin' the bar door" theme?
Knowjuan2: i think thats when the razor sharp toungue
starts to protrude
Godwit935: Fork, you take a beatin'.
Knowjuan2: boing boing boing
Creepy Loner: Hahahaha
Creepy Loner: Oh, this is great...
Godwit935: It's silly to you boys, I know.
Forkrereredux: what bar is such a thing happening in, godwit?
Prospect26: Lady...my daughter drove the ambulance from
Edwards to Denver. Yeah...
Jam7604801: fork remember the blue oyster bar on police academy?
Godwit935: Well, this is too tired out for me. Good night, my
fellow Americans.
Creepy Loner: My fellow Americans?
Creepy Loner: What a c*ckhead.
Creepy Loner: That was f-ing great.
Jam7604801: i don't understand why people don't like Witicus
Creepy Loner: Someone needs to save that conversation...
Forkrereredux: in what bar does such a thing happen?
Creepy Loner: In Godwit's bar...which should be called
"I'm Really Not Gay"
Prospect26: I need to sign off and get ready for vacation...



What Binx Gave to Beysshoes:

Phezziwig13: Hey, my computer is going nuts
Phezziwig13: Finally, we understand each other
Beysshoes: ... oh you prolly caught binx's virus. i did.
Beysshoes: yah, he had porn popping up all over the place
Beysshoes: if it was allan it wouldn't be a problem... but no.
Creepy Loner: Heh.
Creepy Loner: Sounds like my set-up.


That the Family Bouncer Was Busy at T-Giving?:

CordialCactus: i have a question about cousins and
being twice removed... what the heck does it mean?


Finding a Friend for Godwit:

HCSMAUI: You know, in thinking about it, it makes no
difference what a persons sexual preference is. God is
the judge on judgement day. I am no judge. I am sorry
if I offended any gay people here. I am not gay and have
no desire to be gay but that is my choice
HCSMAUI: I will not judge you.
Vanda52: hes all yours bey
Beysshoes: lolol wow i missed something good here
Beysshoes: no homophobe friends for me allan. but thx
for the thought
HCSMAUI: I am a true homophobe
Beysshoes: wait for godwit, ... you'll be in good company


"Vanda isn't gay":

HCSMAUI: I am waiting for Lyn
Phronsie: Poor Lyn.
Various704: hcs........can i fill you in on something?
vanda isnt gay. but he is taking the piss out of you.
but you seem to do a better job yourself.
Phronsie: What did she ever do to deserve you.
HCSMAUI: I cannot believe any of you. I will wait.
Thank you
Beysshoes: maui, cannot you change yoh nick?
so pipples dunt know you is from here?
HCSMAUI: Lyn has found a very nice man to talk to.
I know she is married and I respect that.
HCSMAUI: KMSA
Beysshoes: kmsa? kiss yoh stupid ass? that's rude
HCSMAUI: That is not what it means
HCSMAUI: Your definition defines you
Beysshoes: maui ... i dunt care. sorry.


BookShelf - Ya Gotta be Strong:

ElizabethTudor7: So this is the rude room today?
ElizabethTudor7: again?
HCSMAUI: No, people are rude the room is fine



BookShelf Counseling:

Is She Weird 55: sorry..
Is She Weird 55: it's taking me a while
Is She Weird 55: and little things get my hopes up
and then they come tumbling down
BinxB91: I want to write Hillary a love poem but can't
think of anything that rhymes with Hillary, Subway, or
Carniverous
Phronsie: lollollol
Forkrereredux: rape
Phronsie: scuppernong
Is She Weird 55: i used to have people who loved me...
but i'm not sure what happened
BinxB91: There once was a girl from Akron/
Who never took to saccharine
Hadachoke: carniverous
Is She Weird 55: i still love them
BinxB91: Is that the real Hada??
BinxB91: Hillary, you're just in a slump
Is She Weird 55: i'm always in a slump
Forkrereredux: you should drink
Is She Weird 55: i have bad posture too
BinxB91: a ballerina with bad posture???
No Way!
Is She Weird 55: yeah..... not when i dance
...just when i walk
Phronsie: Hard to imagine
BinxB91: Like an actress with a stutter
Phronsie: twirling around in a slump
Is She Weird 55: shut up
Is She Weird 55: God
Phronsie: en pointe in a slump
Is She Weird 55: I suck! okay! i suck at ballet
Phronsie: we didn't say that
Is She Weird 55: that's why i'm spanish senorita
soloist in the nutcracker
BinxB91: Or a sculpture with atheritis
Is She Weird 55: that's how much i effing suck
Is She Weird 55: and I dO!
BinxB91: should we argue with her further?
Phronsie: Binx, I don't think it's helping.
Phronsie: she seems determined to wallow


A Thin Disguise:

Hadachoke: I've developed a new vegetable, closely
related to the Artichoke. Named it Hadachoke because
my last name is Hadad


"oh kool ... yeah please":

NOKTURNALvne: what kind screen name is DinosaurVagina
Dinosaur Vagina: it's pretty self explanatory Nok
Dinosaur Vagina: need a pic?
NOKTURNALvne: oh kool
NOKTURNALvne: yeah plaese


A New and Better Katie:
Katiesofar: <--sitting on the book shelf...swinging legs
Katiesofar: <---drinking my beer


Candice Giggling:
CordialCactus: i love it when people say they need to
take a roast out of the freezer to "unthaw" ..makes me
giggle every time


Out-Forking Fork:
Teacher2057: OK let's see if I get tortured lol
Forkrereredux: do you enjoy a belly full of semen, teacher?
Teacher2057: as long as you're not lazy and don't call me stupid
Katiesofar: do you think you could actually produce a belly
full, Fork?


Cultural Revolution (they should have listened to their Moms):

Dinosaur Vagina: cultural revolution, what time period was that?
Kgbirdpaul: late 60's early 70's
Dinosaur Vagina: in China?
Kgbirdpaul: yes
Dinosaur Vagina: it's not still going on
Dinosaur Vagina: with western influence?
Kgbirdpaul: students were encouraged to beat up their teachers
BinxB91: About the Cutural Revolution, try To Live and Die Shanghai
Kgbirdpaul: lots of nice things like that
Teacher2057: a black panther, huh
BinxB91: DV, it wasn't about culture
Dinosaur Vagina: who encouraged?
Kgbirdpaul: the cadres
Dinosaur Vagina: oh
Kgbirdpaul: the political bully boys
Teacher2057: is this the socialist room tonight
Various704: yes
Teacher2057: oh well, then bye
BinxB91: Teacher, why would you think that??
Dinosaur Vagina: was it a violent book Kg, or
thought-provoking?
Teacher2057: because I was asked to look up fela kuti
Various704: you get it teach?
Kgbirdpaul: yes, wake up working class, throw off your
chains and smash the capitalist oppressor blood suckers
Teacher2057: that is a black panther radicalist bye
CordialCactus: and btw, dont eat the aqua dots
Dinosaur Vagina: sound advice from a Mom, Cactus


A Real Creep Does Not Greet:

Creepin deth68: heya fellow creep
CordialCactus: hello newish creep


Book Recommendations:

Catpower777: Kg, I just started Bridge of Sighs this week
CordialCactus: Kg... just finished a memoir called,
Bright Lights, Big Ass by jen lancaster


Dreaming of Being Homeless:
Katiesofar: bbl....my child is trying to sleep in a
cardboard box on his bed


Gratuitous Letters:

Godwit935: I am reading this book by this Dominican guy,
it's called, eh....what the heck.....The Brief Wondrous
Life of Oscar Wao. It is not very good.
Godwit935: Full of gratuitiious, ignorant ghetto obscenity.
CordialCactus: strike the 2 superfluous i's


Venting:

Gypsyjo47: My wife is insisting on making chicken and
dumplings tomorrow. I HATE FUCKING DUMPLINGS!


Warn Us First:

Is She Weird 55: i also got pulled over for stopping at
a flashing yellow light
Is She Weird 55: Riding dirty
Is She Weird 55: they see me rollin they hatin
Is She Weird 55: hahaha
CordialCactus: hillary.. suggestion... can you type
before launching into verse?


BlueMonk at McDonald's:
Henrykrinkle912: one time i blacked out and woke up
in that big bin of colored balls in mcdonald's
playland and the spanish girls had the giggles when
i ordered coffee


Born During Deer Season:

CordialCactus: i havent celebrated a birthday since
marrying into my husbands deer hunting family
Godwit935: Cordial, are they ethical hunters?


Mr. Exacto on Erotica:

Henrykrinkle912: i've written some erotic chat before
Godwit935: Erotic chat.
BinxB91: yes, Henry, I remember that
Henrykrinkle912: hehe, yw
Godwit935: Funny phrase.
Tryst27pt: Erotica is hot
Dinosaur Vagina: now the truth comes out
CordialCactus: ive written erotic chat with a typing
lisp ... was kind of fun
Henrykrinkle912: god, that's why i typed it
Godwit935: How can chat be erotic?
CordialCactus: LISP!!!
Henrykrinkle912: some more questions, please, someone
Is She Weird 55: What the duck?
Godwit935: No, the term, chat, excludes eroticism,
is what I mean, Tryst.
CordialCactus: lol.. i love the way that when you state
something, it must be true, it couldnt possibly be any
other way, because you declare it so
Godwit935: Doesn't chat imply lust?
Godwit935: I mean, when you chat, you chat. Chat can't
include lust.
BinxB91: Godwit, like this --- "unbuttoning ..."
Max The Obscure: I've a boner the size of rhode island
BinxB91: and the same shape max?


Gypsy as Helpful Adult:

Gypsyjo47: Weird child, listen to me...smoking is fine
but you control it, don't let it control you
Is She Weird 55: I DONT SMOKE!


BlueMonk and Hillary as a Couple:

Henrykrinkle912: is she, name a few bands you like, please
Is She Weird 55: hmm pixies, red hot chili peppers,
the killers, modest mouse, smashing pumpkins
Is She Weird 55: eww i think there's a bug in my hair!
Henrykrinkle912: anything less annoying?


Pipples Don't Trust Jokers:
Beysshoes: why does everybody think i'm joking and not
see the neediness in me? sigh

[In South Carolina, they'd treated him like a beast, and
he'd survived. He's grown bigger, stronger, older, better.
But having returned to the world he'd grown up in, he had
no idea how to sit in a room with his mother, or what to
say to this 16-year old girl, no idea how to get through a
few days in his life until he shipped to Lousiana for
Advanced Infantry Training, until he got back where people
would tell what to do.]


Friends Vanda Never Knew He Had:

Redneck granger: Where's Vanda?
ManiacEyeball: i stuck him in the oven
ManiacEyeball: he'll be ready in 40
Beysshoes: this is his usual daily masturbation hour redneck
Beysshoes: then he showers and sleeps
Madamehairymole: shoeho, you know him so well
Madamehairymole:
Beysshoes: yes madame
Beysshoes: he's me friend woot can i say?


Beysshoes Finds a Friend:

Beysshoes: hey you ingrate! i was starting the
hairymole club after youza!
Madamehairymole: O
Madamehairymole: really?
Beysshoes: yes, all members here must have moles surgically
implanted ...
Beysshoes: with hairs of different colors
Rozari: yuck. I'm out of here...
Beysshoes: those who resist this surgery must groom the others.
Madamehairymole: shoeho are you the sort who collects
extracted moles like some serial killer who collected nips?



Beysshoes of the Vague Subtleties:

Madamehairymole: what is the combined iq of these frackers?
Beysshoes: just over farenheit madame



Books Lose Again:

BatmanNC2: do people actually talk about books in here
Rozari: I wish we could
Beysshoes: from 11-11:15 on Wednesday nights.
BatmanNC2: oh...i see
Rozari: way past my bedtime
Beysshoes: but you can now iffin you want. but ya gotta pay extra
BatmanNC2: no thanks....the last book i read was in the 9th grade
Madamehairymole: bats don't sleep atnight
Beysshoes: or ya gotta touch madames mole 5 times.
Rozari: ewwwww
Beysshoes: soft.hard.soft.hard.soft
Madamehairymole: lay off your grabby fingers from my hairymole,
you horny dirty bich
BatmanNC2: whats this soft hard stuff
BatmanNC2: is that hairy mole or hairy hole....i need to
clean my glasses


Trying to Leave Polite:

Rozari: Batman, I'm off to look at your gallery. back soon. :)
BatmanNC2: i dont have a gallery
Rozari: you sure don't. Your link is broken.
Rozari: why don't you have one?
BatmanNC2: it was never there....its an AOL screw up
Beysshoes: batman, she just wanna leave polite and all. don't blow it.


Handy for Addicts and Drunks:

BatmanNC2: i cant wait to get a digital SLR
Madamehairymole: a new one is in the market
Madamehairymole: it's shake free
Beysshoes: whats that mean shake free
Madamehairymole: meaning your hands can shake like hell,
but the picture stays still
BatmanNC2: its not so much the shaking....its the delay
Beysshoes: oh that's handy for addicts and drunks yes?



The Benevolent BookShelf:

Is She Weird 55: i come in here because even though
i'm annoying and can talk about some immature issues,
i guess you guys listen better than anyone i know