Women of BookShelf - The BookSlut Monologues/
CodialCactus Reflections/BIDET Silliness/
Hillary's Romance/CreepyLoner Asides


News From Japan:
BooksIut: Kobo Abe said that there was nothing better
tasting than his own ear wax, just like cheese.

On Ass Kissers:

BD Radical84: I see Bidet's right hand rear kisser is here
ParaMyrrh: Bidet, can I kiss your butt again?
ParaMyrrh: it's so fragrant and shiny
ParaMyrrh: such a lovely pair of half spheres
BIDET LIVES: sure
BIDET LIVES: anyone else?
ParaMyrrh: thanks
ParaMyrrh: so Honored
BIDET LIVES: no licking, folks
Kamperkenii: Para, I was going to suggest that we refer
to Bidet as the 'porcelein concavity'
Kamperkenii: whadyathink?
ParaMyrrh: careful Bidet,the person who kisses your ass today
may be the one working to unseat you tomorrow
Lamumsie: would hate to misunderstand such a subject
BIDET LIVES: is that a threat?
ParaMyrrh: No not a threat
ParaMyrrh: Actually I want to be your only ass smoocher online
BIDET LIVES: i see. a promise. a cautionary tale.
BIDET LIVES: you'll have to deal with binx - he's the ultimate
BinxB91: oh Bidet, do shut up
ParaMyrrh: Bidet but he kisses all the hens' asses
BIDET LIVES: don't drop your scone, binxy
BinxB91: scone?
BinxB91: I'm not British
Lamumsie: ho-hum
Lamumsie: goodnight
BIDET LIVES: one down
BinxB91: what's the point in making people walk out?
BinxB91: and boring them to tears doesn't count.
BIDET LIVES: i am just sitting here
BIDET LIVES: reading poetry
BIDET LIVES: listening to lonesome bob
BinxB91: poetry? whose?
BIDET LIVES: yes, i said lonesome bob
BIDET LIVES: that's personal, binx
BIDET LIVES: but fairly harmless, wouldn't you say?
BinxB91: I'm just sitting here having sex
BinxB91: but with who is a little personal
BIDET LIVES: i'm having sex, too
BD Radical84: with what? a urinal cake?
BIDET LIVES: yes. i'm having sex with a urinal cake.
BD Radical84: well don't forget to wash up afterwards
BIDET LIVES: and down
ParaMyrrh: Bidet brilliant!
BIDET LIVES: more kisses!

Paraphrasing:

ParaMyrrh: Politics is Porn without the jouissance
Kamperkenii: no,politics is porn without all of the nekkid pics
ParaMyrrh: Kamper that was my point
BooksIut: What's that mean, Kamp?
ParaMyrrh: Jouissance implies sexual satisfaction titillation
Kamperkenii: oh, I know, Para. i merely Para phrased you
ParaMyrrh: politics is porn all money shot no sex
ParaMyrrh: Kamp good one
ParaMyrrh: Para phrased
Kamperkenii:just translated it into 'low' language for AOL's benefit


Bunk Beds:

CordialCactus: i will say this.. brazilian constructed
bunk beds should be outlawed... had to put them together...
nothing was plumb (?) lengths and widths were off.. it was
a character building experiece
CordialCactus: luckily the kids went to bed, so i
didnt have to kill them
BinxB91: character building instead of bed building?
DinosoreVagina: phew Cactus - close call
Bethliebner: i never had to sleep in a bunk bed
Yossarian4now: me either
CordialCactus: the bed is up and in use.... but...argh...
what an afternoon.. but, im still married.. thats good
right?
DinosoreVagina: sure Cactus
CordialCactus: beth.. my teens had bunk beds when they were
little.. i always wanted bunk beds when i was a kid , and a
sibling close in age to share them with..
CordialCactus: so... i like em
DinosoreVagina: hmm
BinxB91: I had bunk beds in boot camp
CordialCactus: they just look so american familyish
DinosoreVagina: I'd worry about the bunks
DinosoreVagina: my son has taken to climbing on the desk and
jumping off
DinosoreVagina: all I hear is a large "THUMP"
CordialCactus: lol... we had one of those already
CordialCactus: he's more careful now
DinosoreVagina: I'm going to have to bubble wrap him or get
some xanax
CordialCactus: speeds the learning curve
DinosoreVagina: I keep thinking the "that's a stupid idea"
thing to kick in
DinosoreVagina: so far, no luck

Proof:

BIDET LIVES: i'm freezing. this could be bird flu.
Bgrant444: Bidet, you are freezing because your soul is a cold,
dark and moss-covered place
BIDET LIVES: i met with a republican for 2 hours this morning
BIDET LIVES: and i liked him
Bgrant444: See? What did I say

Priorities:
CordialCactus: brb... cat is sounding weird


An Icon for Insincere Slimeballs:

BinxB91: Phronsie, Para's here. Your own Eddie Haskell
Phronsie: Binx, Para and I seemed to have reached detente.
Phronsie: For the moment at least.
BinxB91: Phronsie, you outlasted him
ParaMyrrh: Phronsie is fine by me Don't drag her into it
like a coward hiding behind a woman
Nomdujourxx: Amazing, Eddie Haskell has become an icon for
insincere slimeballs everywhere 30 years after the fact


Quest for Vagina:

BooksIut: I asked my boyfriend about the sacredness of
virginity and he said,
BooksIut: "It was special but not sacred. Your pu**y
wasn't the Holy Grail."
BooksIut: Then, BooksIut: if that wasn't bad enough,
BooksIut: "how was it special for you?"
BooksIut: OH MY GOD.
Creepy Loner: I think, after that, you should nickname
your vagina "Perceval."
BinxB91: I thought only men named their sex organs
Creepy Loner: That should change, Binx.
Creepy Loner: And Slut should be the one to change it.
BinxB91: The woman in Portney's Complaint named hers
BinxB91: but she was low
Creepy Loner: Slut's not too tall, either.


Twisted and Fucked:

PRobin5478: what kind of movies do you like?
Max 314159265358: The ones that have a twist
Max 314159265358: or the one where's the protaginist is
fucked from the start

A Boy Named Mark:

EmpressZ21: bad kissers can kill the whole deal even
if he is a nice employed guy
EDruezillaB: My first kiss followed my first proposal.
EmpressZ21: wow how old were you
EDruezillaB: Five.
EmpressZ21: and who asked you or him
EDruezillaB: A boy named Mark in Kindergarten.


Evidence of Our UNcoolness:
CordialCactus: thats the third time i have heard the
lawerence welk resort mentioned in the past month

Self-Defence?:
Godwit935: It's been a week now since I shot my cat.
Still getting over that.

So THAT's What a Tuffet Is:
BooksIut: Creep and I exchanged tuffets of pubic hair
in addition to photos.

Some Guy:
Is She Weird 55: oh binx i have a BF did i tell ya?
Is She Weird 55: some guy from drug mart


Hillary's Friends:
Is She Weird 55: oh, binx. my friend was on shroo ms over
the weekend and he got on top of my other guy friend and
tried to make out with h im

Odds and Ends:

CordialCactus: sorry.. had to make an emergency peanut
butter and jelly

Prospect26: Just for the record, I am a woman.

Niontron3: I am afraid of all humans

Is She Weird 55: i am so hungry all the time

Catpower777: did you laugh out loud?
DinosoreVagina: no, but I almost shot coffee out my nose

Prospect26: I don't do drugs...and do not do drugs by
association.

Solsfam: I let my granddaughter beat me playing tic tac toe

Max 314159265358: I may have consumed more green beans than
I'd like

Godwit935: This place is so awful, much of the time





Seems Like Old Times:
CordialCactus: bidet, go swallow a tuna can


KatyTried Reader:
Is She Weird 55: i cant stop laughings


A Freaking Weird Analogy:

Is She Weird 55: haha ohhh i loved those pomegranate martinis
CordialCactus: not*
CordialCactus: martinis are like breasts, hillary
CordialCactus: 1 is too few, 3 is too many... remember that
Is She Weird 55: ew
Is She Weird 55: that's a freaking weird analogy
CordialCactus: well... arent you glad you dont have 3


C'Loner Being Social:

Creepy Loner: I got drunk with a bunch of Australians
in Texas...God, they were fun.
Creepy Loner: Good trip.
Creepy Loner: I never thought that I would enjoy trying to
run a mile while blasted out of my brains on gin...
Creepy Loner: They proved me wrong.
Nanofaydan: gin?..they drank gin??.. sure they were Aussie?
Creepy Loner: It was my purchase, Nan...they were down with it
'cause it was free. They seemed to stick to beer for most
of our stay...


Godwit Being Coy:

Creepy Loner: GODWIT! Light of my life and fire of my loins!
Godwit935: I was just watching Charlie Rose, and I never saw a
better show of his than tonight's.
Creepy Loner: Oh, how I've missed you!
Creepy Loner: Tell me what you would do to me if you were with
me Godwit...make it hot!
Creepy Loner: [grins / leers]
Nanofaydan: ahhh..ok I can barely contain myself.....
Godwit935: It was all about William F. Buckley and Charlie
nearly broke down at the end. Never saw that before.
Godwit935: Creepy, I'd have you get me a cup of tea.
Creepy Loner: Mmm...
Creepy Loner: [spanks own arse]...I love ya, Godwit.


Outing a Snert:

Ridenwheels: does any one in here read
Creepy Loner: There are people in here that read enough to
know that "anyone" is a single word, Ride...
Creepy Loner: You wouldn't believe...

Tolerating a Snert:

Ridenwheels: dont know cant read
EmpressZ21: if he cant read how is he responding
Various704: emp, hes hitting random keys and hoping for
the best


Boris Vian/a Larded-Down Bed/Mescaline Slurpee/Her Dick:

BooksIut: Last couple of weeks I haven't gone to school
or work, just layed in bed reading or researching until
I fell asleep. This is repetitive action, if you can
call it that. But, it's like my bed is larded down with
all these facts
BooksIut: and it isn't so much that no one else knows or
gives a fuck about Boris Vian but that . . . my bed sinks
lower and lower with knowledge and in the end, will
become my grave.
BooksIut: I don't think my confession can be explained by
the mescaline Slurpee I've been slushing these past few
weeks.
BinxB91: Slut, you ought to try some poetry
BooksIut: Binx. I have.
BinxB91: slut, I am sure your poetry would show some energy
BooksIut: Binx. Doubtful. I feel as if . . .
I'm forcing the last quivers of cum out of my d*ck.


Pay PerView:

BooksIut: Nude Read(er)er.
BooksIut: My own demi-monde of Moroccan acrobats.
BooksIut: So it's pretty much about the sex.
BIDET LIVES: if i met bookslut in real life, i'd vomit
on her lap
BIDET LIVES: and wait for more big words
Creepy Loner: It's good to want things, BIDET.
Bgrant444: I might pay to see that


Let's Be Bots:

OnlineHost: LeslieHapablap has entered the room.
LeslieHapablap: hi, 36/f/married/california
LeslieHapablap: pictures in my profile, hot guys IM me.

No Retort of a Snappy Sort:

CordialCactus: "/"/"/wisconsin
Kamperkenii: Cactus, you're in Wisconsin?
Kamperkenii: a cheesehead, huh?
Kamperkenii: THAT explains it!
Kamperkenii: I should've connected the dots long before now
Phezziwig13: Yeah, a cactus grows in Wisconsin
CordialCactus: wait.. i married a cheesehead, birthed a yooper
... was born and raised a flatlander
CordialCactus: im confused
LeslieHapablap: cordialcactus, where were you raised?
CordialCactus: i have no retort for that
CordialCactus: no retort of the snappy sort... no, so there or
ha! no oh really or duh.. i have no love of cheese you see..
i just like it thankyou now let me be


Super Tuesday Leftover:

Phezziwig13: Obama just jumped up 2% in California
Harryshaw3178: if Obama can take Missouri...
Johnpaperfir: they are already calling Cali for Clinton wtf
Johnpaperfir: spanish people did this


I'm Easy:
She Weird 55: Haiku's are Easy.
But sometimes they dont make sense.
Refrigerator.


Tender Correspondence:

CordialCactus: Dear LeslieHapablap, I hope this note find you
healthy and happy. Sincerely, Cordial Cactus
LeslieHapablap: HELL NO!
LeslieHapablap: i still have that cold.
Nomdujourxx: That should be, Cordially, Cactus
Nomdujourxx: CC has never been sincere
CordialCactus: Dear Nom.. I have been wanting to write to you
about your backseat writing. In the future would you kindly
pen your own correspondance. Cordially, Cactus
LeslieHapablap: dear cordial cactus, stick it to him.
love, lesliehapablap
Niontron3: dear shelfers, you are boring me...yours truely,
Rono. P.S. Cut it out!!!
LeslieHapablap: dear niontron3, i wish you would leave and
never come back. seriously, lesliehapablap


I Don't Get It:

Bgrant444: Obama's wife will be a delight in office,
they will chain her to the Roosevelt Room
CordialCactus: i dont get it
Boulshevit: Me too
Harryshaw3178: don't get what?
CordialCactus: the historical reference
Lamumsie: mmhmmm
Lamumsie: keep her under lock and key
CordialCactus: or if there was one
Bgrant444: Wasn't historical The Roosevelt room is just a
room in the White house
CordialCactus: oh.. ok.. phew
Boulshevit: Nice save


Living On Risque Lane:

Boulshevit: Will you still love me sober?
CordialCactus: of course
Lamumsie: taking turns....?
Bgrant444: Boul, will you ever get sober?
Boulshevit: God willing no
CordialCactus: lams.. i just get sick of seeing myself talk
sometimes.. just being a goof
CordialCactus: so, hence, the "your turn"
Bgrant444: Cordial, I enjoy your conversation
Lamumsie: I was just considering the....possibilities?
CordialCactus: thanks bg.. but im around me all day long
CordialCactus: lol lams.. i practice not being risque
Lamumsie: heheh
Bgrant444: Cordial, you and I are the only sane ones here
I think, but I do worry about you :-)
Lamumsie: come now, was that risque?
Lamumsie: I was thinking like...Scrabble
Lamumsie: or...Yahtzee
CordialCactus: taking turns.... that could have gone straight
down risque lane
Lamumsie: y'know?
CordialCactus: oh
CordialCactus: you tricked me!
CordialCactus: lol
Lamumsie: O:-)
Bgrant444: Scrabble, Hammocking, 124 points
Lamumsie: nice, Bob!
Boulshevit: Hammocking?
Boulshevit: No shit?
Lamumsie: is that...laying in a hammock?
Bgrant444: Hammocking-Wild Sexual acts standing up in a Hammock
CordialCactus: i was getting ready to expound at length..( is
there any other way to expound) about the various ways that
taking turns could be risque, for your benefit
Lamumsie: or....ohhhhh!
Bgrant444: Cordial, well, in the shower maybe
CordialCactus: but.. thankfully.. i didnt travel that road..
lol.. see? i get sick of my rambling... but as long as you
dont mind
Bgrant444: Cordial, Ramble away
I2DaysInNovember: well Lamsie I sent it to you too : )
CordialCactus: bg.. hammocking?
Harryshaw3178: I enjoy your rambling, cordial
CordialCactus: standing in a hammock?
CordialCactus: is that truly possible?
Bgrant444: Cordial, yes, difficult, but rewarding
Lamumsie: CC's new name: Ramblin' Rose
Lamumsie: oh! cool, AT
CordialCactus: ramblin on.. dooo doo dooo .. sing my song
Bgrant444: Covorting Cactus
CordialCactus: covort
Bgrant444: Cavorting
CordialCactus: say that three times fast and i challenge
you not to giggle
Bgrant444: Well, guys chortle, we are not much on giggling
CordialCactus: ok.. i will concede that minor detail
Lamumsie: I was imagining...
Harryshaw3178: we'll gather together, chortle
Bgrant444: Lamumsie :-)
Lamumsie: and thump shoulders, Harry?
CordialCactus: lol
Harryshaw3178: thump and chortle
Lamumsie: heh
CordialCactus: thump chortle and cavort
Boulshevit: And ramble
Harryshaw3178: on the road to a round of guffaw and bash


Tuesdays With Morrie, Fridays With Ded:

DedLettr: when I come in here Fridays, Bey, I am looking
for sex
Beysshoes: oh ded, i bopped in for a hey..i must go
out shortly. next time perhaps yes?


C'Loner Knows Why:
Harryshaw3178: death has never frightened me. no idea why.
Creepy Loner: Because you're a stud, Harry.


Hillary's Date:

Is She Weird 55: hey, binx. i had a date tonight
BinxB91: A date?? And you're here to replay the highlights?
Is She Weird 55: um...only if you so desire
BinxB91: Was he nice to you?
Is She Weird 55: of course
Hadachoke: were you nice to him?
Is She Weird 55: yes i was nice to him
BinxB91: Did he say anything stupid?
Is She Weird 55: no he said nothing stupid.
Creepy Loner: I'm sure he said plenty of stupid things, he was
just blessed to be saying them to Hillary, who wouldn't notice.



Speak to Your Groin:

Penrod59: weaslemum is IMing me so I can';t keep up
DedLettr: tell her Hi, Pen
Penrod59: weaslemum wants to speak to your groin
Penrod59: WEASLEMUM: well hello dick


Love Him Terribly:

DedLettr: married to Patient Onion .. cant get sadder than that
Bethliebner: so true ded
Beysshoes: onion is a wonderful man ded. i love him terribly.
Beysshoes: but, alas, he loves beth
DedLettr: love is easy, marriage hard
Bgrant444: Beyss? Have you missed your meds?
Bethliebner: you can have him Bey


The Eternal Question:
Various704: para, have you always been a wank? or do you
do it to amuse us?


Pawning Off Ded:
Beysshoes: mumsy ... ded was here looking for you earlier
Beysshoes: also, he was looking for Friday night sex, mumsy

[And for the first time in his life, that summer he shed
tears for someone besides himself. That long step toward
maturity came after the finals of the boxing tournament,
in which his brother Louis was beaten in three rounds for
the seventy-five pound championship by a boy two years
older than he. At the end of the fight, Louis's lip was
cut and there was a big lump on his forehead. Louis took
his beating with his usual stoicism, but, while Benjamin
was leading him to the showers to stop the flow of blood
and put an icy washrag against Louis's forehead, the
tears of helpless love suddenly came to Benjamin's eyes.
He turned his head trying to keep Louis from seeing what
was happening. But he knew that Louis knew, though they
never talked about the moment, even when they were grown
men. Louis looked at him gravely, wondering and a little
ashamed of what seemed to him incomprehensible
childishness in a brother he had never seen weep before]


KaL and Hillary - together again:

ParaMyrrh: hey Bey Bey have you heard that rap song
Hurricane Chris wrote about you?
ParaMyrrh: it's jamming in clubs nationwide A bey bey
ParaMyrrh: Bey you haven't heard the song "Ay Bey Bey"?
Is She Weird 55: i HATe that song , para
ParaMyrrh: Ay Bey Bey has a primitive edge to it with
repetitive refrain banging like a tribla chant


"trying to get a visual on this":

Boulshevit: I am a walking penis
Lamumsie: are you bald, Bouldie?
Boulshevit: Not yet, Mumsie
Lamumsie: Boulsie ?*
Lamumsie: hmmm
Lamumsie: trying to get the visual on this
Nomdujourxx: Woody Allen did it years ago
Sleepy Eyed Evie: woody allen raps?
MadiHolmes: I thought Woody Allen clarinets
Nomdujourxx: walked around in a giant condom
Is She Weird 55: like like a bandage!


Drunk?:

Prospect26: Lady...everyone is so drunk.
Hadachoke: i'm stone cold sober
CordialCactus: not drinking
LadyMtnMedic: who is drunk?
Summers Eve L: Just because people are discussing their
taste in alcohol doesnt mean that they have had a drop.
Summers Eve L: I am painfully sober.
Nomdujourxx: Drinking coffee
DinosoreVagina: me too Summer
Hadachoke: me too
Jam7604801: me three summer
CordialCactus: well, im drinking.. but its water.. clean
clear crisp water
DinosoreVagina: well this explains why nothing makes sense
Tem o Bedlam: A nip or two with my advil...
DinosoreVagina: you're all sober
Hadachoke: that stuff'll rust your pipes, cc
Summers Eve L: Water! You tart!
Nomdujourxx: There goes that excuse
Jam7604801: the only stuff i have in the house is a bottle of wine
CordialCactus: lol @ tart
Tem o Bedlam: It'd be downright uncivic for me to drink water.
DinosoreVagina: right Tem, almost... unpatriotic
Nomdujourxx: I've got a bottle of rye but I ran out of ginger ale
Summers Eve L: Mix it all together!
CordialCactus: nom.. thats my problem as well.. i have rum,
whiskey, scotch, tequila, apple schnapps.. but nothing to
mix it with
DinosoreVagina: well now we've covered drugs, breasts and booze
CordialCactus:(asking in my mothers voice) are you all grass smokers?
DinosoreVagina: what's left?
LadyMtnMedic: no CC
DinosoreVagina: we didn't finish drugs then



A Fun Date:
Summers Eve L: I'm not going to drink until Saturday night
after the bout (roller derby game) and win or lose my friends
I shall not be at all sober.


Honoring William F. Buckley:

Godwit935: I want to tear the ass off an elephant, in honor
of the death of William F. Buckley.
William F. Buckley.
LeslieHapablap: ok.
LeslieHapablap: good luck with that.
Godwit935: I love the way that guy LIVED.
Creepy Loner: ...
LeslieHapablap: creepy loner, that was exactly my response.
Godwit935: I disagreed with him on a fundamental level,
but he liked to FIGHT.
LeslieHapablap: earlier i was on the telephone with mr. hapablap.
LeslieHapablap: he said, "william f. buckley died."
LeslieHapablap: i said, "..."
LeslieHapablap: then i said, "anyway."
Creepy Loner: That's really the best reaction, Leslie...
no doubt about it.
Godwit935: Leslie, had you heard much of Buckley?
LeslieHapablap: godwit935, no.
Godwit935: The guy was hard to beat.
Godwit935: I like a guy's hard to beat.
Creepy Loner: [biting my tongue]
Jam7604801: me too creepy
LeslieHapablap: he did have a wonderful vocabulary.
Godwit935: Creepy, you're easy to beat, if you bite your tongue.
Godwit935: Leslie, he was far more than vocabulary.
LeslieHapablap: of course.
CordialCactus: just googling a bit.. found this cute..
william f buckley wrote a negative review to ayn rands
ATLAS SHRUGGED...
Jam7604801: wit are you hard to beat?


Roller Derby as Serious Shit:

NeoNPaisleY: roller derby, serious shit there. jk.
NeoNPaisleY: some dedicated people nonetheless
Summers Eve L: We do take roller derby seriously. We play it
for the sport. Not like back when it was like wrestling.
CordialCactus: i remember falling of my cool yellow and blue
bmx bike, falling out of trees, and kicking boys butts in
grade school.. it didnt hurt near as much when you are 60
pounds and 4'9"
CordialCactus: not that i do those things much now
CordialCactus: heh
Jennifer Payne: i think there's something wrong
Summers Eve L: Yeah falling hurts as an adult. First time I
fell as an adult I didn't think I was ever going to be able
to get up.
Summers Eve L: I hada to crawl over to the wall and pull
myself up.
CordialCactus: i hear ya
Hadachoke: i hada too
NeoNPaisleY: shit im twenty years old and falling doesent feel
particurly nice
Summers Eve L: haha
Jam7604801: i sorta like roller derby ... watching it as a kid
Jam7604801: the coaches had names like wrestlers
Summers Eve L: My derby name is WHORECULES
CordialCactus: lol
Summers Eve L: Tis I! WHORECULES!
Jennifer Payne: the girl who cuts my hair is on the roller derby team
Jennifer Payne: and her name is The Brutician
Summers Eve L: Where are you from, Jen? Oh good one.
Jennifer Payne: VA
CordialCactus: what are some other derby names
Jennifer Payne: like any could be better than Whorecules
Glomawr: been watching him for years
Glomawr: mint julep
Summers Eve L: In my league we have Machine Gun Kelly, Your Mom,
Instant Karmen...
Tem o Bedlam: Pemberly. According to Jane Austen, that's in Derbyshire.
Summers Eve L: Kinky Kenevil
Summers Eve L: Bloody Elle
Summers Eve L: Gwen Reaper
Jennifer Payne: lol Bloody Elle
Summers Eve L: my favorite from other leagues are Hurt Reynolds.
Glomawr: watch out machine gun
Summers Eve L: Soylent Mean
Glomawr: believe her name was Kathryn Kelly
Summers Eve L: Assault N Peppa
Jennifer Payne: lol
Hadachoke: Graceless Kelly
Summers Eve L: Mace Kelly
Tem o Bedlam: LOL
Summers Eve L: Smashimi
Hadachoke: lol
CordialCactus: love it
Hadachoke: the japaqnese chick
Tem o Bedlam: No Elizabeth of Hungary?
Lamumsie: hmmmmmmm
Glomawr: lam chop


Lispers and the NRA:

DinosoreVagina: feel free to im me... Lam
DinosoreVagina: hubba hubba
Lamumsie: ready or not...
DinosoreVagina: just don't use the lisp
Tem o Bedlam: Hey, we got the NRA. The entire population
is potentially dangerous, whether or not they've been
diagnosed.
DinosoreVagina: Cactus says that kills it
CordialCactus: lol.. it makes it better
DinosoreVagina: lol
DinosoreVagina: hey hon, can you talk dirty with a lisp
StarlightStorms: I hope we keep the NRA!
DinosoreVagina: I doubt I could say that with a straight face
CordialCactus: ok.. im getting loopy... look at the screen..
i have 4 lols in a row
Lakeshadw: Lam---to quote Kenny rodgers---"ya gotta know when
ta hold em...when to fold em...."
Lamumsie: wow, guess LadyM really doesnt like cyber?
DinosoreVagina: lol cactus
Lamumsie: lol
DinosoreVagina: oh LOL
Lamumsie: hahaha Shadow
CordialCactus: dinov, you are taking the loopy lead, though:)
DinosoreVagina: maybe you should have offered with a lisp?
Lamumsie: loopy lisping
DinosoreVagina: yeah well, some loopy is born not made
Lakeshadw: sore Vaggie--make that a "lithp"
Jam7604801: i have a joke i will try to copy and paste
DinosoreVagina: I always have to sound that out
DinosoreVagina: and it involves spitting kinda
Tem o Bedlam: It isn't that odd that there is only one amendment
to the Constitution. It is, however a little peculiar that it
should be numbered "2."
Jam7604801: dern to won't let me paste it
DinosoreVagina: do you supposes there's a reverse speech class,
where I could learn to lisp
CordialCactus: you thilly perthonth... it goeth like thith
... thyber thexth ith more interethting when you thay thuggethtive
thtuff like, thupple and thmooth and thothe kindth of thingth
CordialCactus: brb
Tem o Bedlam: In a reverse class, tha'd be "psil."
DinosoreVagina: LOL
DinosoreVagina: by the time I sound it out, the mood is gone though
Lakeshadw: Yes, sore...ith called "dythlectith 101"
DinosoreVagina: oh
Lamumsie: ithn't that thore?
DinosoreVagina: wonder who teaches that
StarlightStorms: back in a few
Lakeshadw: brb...Jeez..need a tea + single malt
OnlineHost: StarlightStorms has left the room.
DinosoreVagina: oh definetly lam
Jam7604801: it was about a midet with a lispth
DinosoreVagina: Jam, can you type it?
Jam7604801: i can mail it
Tem o Bedlam: I'll spare everybody the "Cathtilian" joke.
man, I'm getting lazy.
DinosoreVagina: ok
CordialCactus: nacl
CordialCactus: whoa... back*
DinosoreVagina: wb Cactus
DinosoreVagina: lol
CordialCactus: thanks
DinosoreVagina: national association of chronic lispers?
DinosoreVagina: nacl
CordialCactus: lol
CordialCactus: good one
DinosoreVagina: we meet on fridays
CordialCactus: heh
Tem o Bedlam: "I've got a little lithp." - WS Gilbert
CordialCactus: funny... ok.. i really need to go.. you win
funny of the night with that quick acronym thing
DinosoreVagina: for dwinth and thewapy


Spell Check:

CordialCactus: i found them cheap, thought i put some
in the kids room, the bar and the guest room, to add ambience
CordialCactus: i love inexpensive ambience... wait is
that supposed to be ambiance?
IaintRlGHT: ambiance
CordialCactus: oh like you know


Raising the Conversation:

CordialCactus: well.. i may bave bored you to death, but
i got us away from dildos and strap-ons
Harryshaw3178: thanks cactus
Boulshevit: Speaking of strapons and Dildos..oh..sorry


Keep Me Informed:
Godwit935: Did anyone see the Charlie Rose show last week
dedicated entirely to William F. Buckley?
CordialCactus: no godwit, i wish you would email me
notices for things like that


"I thought you should be told":

CordialCactus: wb hada
Hadachoke: ty cc
CordialCactus: hada.. i asked lams what she had been doing
... she said "hada!"
CordialCactus: i thought you should be told



Why Akron Subways Are Dry:
Is She Weird 55: i am afraid of mayonnaise


The Whole of It:
BooksIut: That's the whole of it. Should I feel embarrassed
about my hyper sexuality?

The Incredible Shrinking Blog/
Thoughts on Hannukah


Hawaiian Encounters:

HCSMAUI: It would be nice if all of you would relax
and enjoy life. It is fun that way. One does not
have to be gay to enjoy life, the ocean, the islands
just enjoy life
Dinosaur Vagina: be nice to do for the heck of it
Beysshoes: sheesh how boring can one get?
HCSMAUI: You can invite me anywhere, I am here in Maui
though. I am happy here
Beysshoes: i knew someone like that maui. always happy.
one day she side sueyed.
HCSMAUI: That was that persons problem. No one tried
to help her/him.


Vagina? ...where ya from?:

Dinosaur Vagina: hmm
ElizabethTudor7: Dinosaur, your name is unappealing to all,
I would think
Creepy Loner: I love it Liz.
Dinosaur Vagina: maybe not
ElizabethTudor7: You love what, creepy?
HCSMAUI: Not me Ms. Vagina, where are you from?


Prescription for Beysshoes:

Beysshoes: you stayed away from us for too long booboo
Beysshoes: we got depressed. we are all on group meds now.
Creepy Loner: We're on Pervasin.
Beysshoes: james the pharmacist is providing them.
ShhJm: beys, I would put you on ativan
ShhJm: ativan is an antipsychotic that basically lays you
down and shuts you up


Leslie Turning Gross:

BinxB91: Leslie's back! I thought she'd found something better
Dinosaur Vagina: something better?
BinxB91: better than BookShelf
LeslieHapablap: hi, binxb91, what are you wearing?
LeslieHapablap: creepy loner, IM.
Dinosaur Vagina: is that possible Binx?
CordialCactus: sweatshirt (red) comfy pants (gray)
BinxB91: Black sweatpants and a hooded grey sweat shirt
Creepin deth68: not much
LeslieHapablap: spoony?
CordialCactus: pony tail (hair)
LeslieHapablap: head hair or pubic hair?


The Saga Continues:
LeslieHapablap: a few weeks ago we bought a new chair.
LeslieHapablap: this morning it arrived.


Sex & the Northwoods:

LeslieHapablap: mr. hapablap bought me the complete
series of "sex & the city". i have been watching it
for days.
LeslieHapablap: it dawned on me that i do not have
those kind of friends.
LeslieHapablap: sit around in restaurants and discuss
sex & vibrators endlessly.
CordialCactus: i have the northwoods equivalent of sex
& the city friends
LeslieHapablap: do you do that with your friends?


[I was grateful for a single uncanny pause, in which
Clooney, driving around Westchester on a wild night,
stops at dawn, walks up a hill, and silently confronts
three horses, as if they were the only instance in a
convulsive world]


What's Real:
MelaniesGuitar: because i'm not, you know, really a writer
MelaniesGuitar: but they are, you know, really on strike


Mixed Message:
CordialCactus: i have a green eggs and ham t-shirt i like
to wear when bartending


Fetish Explained:

Phronsie: One thing I"ve always found odd is that most of
the really tall guys I've known went for the really short
girls
Catpower777: Phrons, they like to be able to pick them up
and twirl them like batons


Orgasmically Ugly:
Geekslinky: I'm nearly orgasmic.
Geekslinky: Umberto Eco's new book "On Ugliness" is out.


Setting a Pattern:
Geekslinky: What the heck! Ugly Betty reruns?
Asia7384: ugly betty reruns are twice as ugly


BLT's body:

Beysshoes: ook james. grosser than usual.
Forkrereredux: it is a nice screen name though
VaginaMangler: thanks fork
Forkrereredux: classy
VaginaMangler: I know
VaginaMangler: I'm all about class, but you already knew that
Dinosaur Vagina: he's going to the S & M room with it,
picking up chicks
PatientOnion3: blt owns land, he will be rich, you can
marry him dino mom
Dinosaur Vagina: Onion, will he be on his deathbed?
PatientOnion3: blt has the body of a 25 year old
Dinosaur Vagina: yes but he should bury it Onion



Jewish Secrets Revealed:

PatientOnion3: Now it's time for making 89 pork meatballs
for the first day of Hannukah!
Beysshoes: i'm proud of you brat
PatientOnion3: the number 89 represents the number of Jewish
families that control the world's banking and military interests


"that is not kosher":

PatientOnion3: i took the magic stock out of the freezer,
i am thawing it over the stove, then i take the holy four pound
hunk of ground pork and start adding happiness to it
PatientOnion3: i will make Nine Happiness Pork Meatballs,
light my menorah and force the dow to drop by 275 points
on Monday
Dinosaur Vagina: I think the happiness left the pork when it
was a pig
LeslieHapablap: that is not kosher.
PatientOnion3: then i will sell 3 stocks short and make
$12.7 million
PatientOnion3: since it is hannukah, I am adding CILANTRO to
the pork meatballs. Cilantro is the herb that the jews ate
with their matzoh when they fled egypt



Replacing Vanda:

PatientOnion3: i hope vanda comes out of his coma and
cleans this chatroom up!
Dinosaur Vagina: I think he says that your job now Onion
Dinosaur Vagina: get to work
PatientOnion3: the doctor said there was a 20% chance
that he would regain full use of his feeble mind!
Nomdujourxx: The Dr was an optimist
Jptos000: *slaps monitor and screams* VANDA WAKE UP!


Where Do Toes Go?:

VaginaMangler: phrons, how is your chopped off diabetic toe?
Phronsie: Blt, it's not there. They didn't tell me where
they sent it
VaginaMangler: did you save the toe?
Phronsie: it doesn't call, it doesn't write.
VaginaMangler: do you look like a monster now when you wear
sandals?
VaginaMangler: do you get a discount on socks?
Phronsie: Why do you think I wear sandal. It's the fucking
end of November in Alabama


Stay Calm and Spell Slowly:

Beysshoes: james you puss infested maggot ... i hope you
accidentally fall on top o' fork and he eats you for bf.
VaginaMangler: *pus
Phronsie: Puss? I expect that's pus
Beysshoes: ty.
Beysshoes: pus
Phronsie: altough it's an interesting concept.
Phronsie: a maggot infested with felines


DoomGirl to Lead Her People Out of the Desert:

Phronsie: he'd better lay a claim to her before Binx
gets here and adds her to his harem.
DoomGrl: who is Binx? cute?
Nomdujourxx: Haven't seen Binx in a while
Phronsie: oh, Binx has been here
DoomGrl: ok. i am very tired
DoomGrl: hard day at the button factory
PatientOnion3: doom, light the menorah, eat a kreplach and
run off to bed
Phronsie: You're not going to ask what she's wearing?
DoomGrl: i have to play with my dreidle first
DoomGrl: black lace-up ankle hi fluevog boots, black issy
miyaki tee with sparkly bunny
PatientOnion3: i love that sparkly bunny, sparkles represent
the stars in the sky that led the jews to the promised land


All International Speaking:

Beysshoes: rachomim
VaginaMangler: su chocha como mismo culo de caballo
VaginaMangler: sorry fork, she thinks she is all
international speaking these silly ass tree root eating
languages to me
Beysshoes: aher yatzar es ha adom b'chochma james... brocha.
VaginaMangler: and she butchers them
Beysshoes: you asked for yiddish you panty waist
VaginaMangler: its like talking to a kid with down syndrome
about particle physics
Beysshoes: bi simcha james ?
Beysshoes: dingdingding ... lost another one james
Beysshoes: stay away from marathons you one note freakshow
VaginaMangler: WELL, THIS 18 PACK ISNT GOING TO DRINK ITSELF


Brain-Storming a Slogan:

CordialCactus: vaginas unite!
CordialCactus: wait.. not a good phrase
VaginaMangler: LETS HAVE A VAGINA MONOLOGUE
Epicureanonymous: ::: joined at the... ?
DoomGrl: for crimeny sakes,
Phronsie: fates deliver us from teen chat please
Beysshoes: candice ... the vagina dialogues
Phronsie: suburban housewives chat too


Self-editing:
CordialCactus: i overuse those dot dot dots..
but other than that... good


Who Would Have Ever Guessed:
Beysshoes: i love ellipses


Alcohol Police:

Epicureanonymous: how mucj have you had to drink, Cactus?
CordialCactus: epic... 1 margarita with dinner.. dats it
Phronsie: good grief again
Epicureanonymous: well, it went right to your head
Dinosaur Vagina: dots enough
CordialCactus: heh
CordialCactus: epic.... i knew it! funny and cute, you are just tipsy and annoying>>



I've Been a Bad Girl:
Beysshoes: darling i didn't know it was you.
Beysshoes: scold me some more meijo



Did It Ever?:
PatientOnion3: without creepy, this room has no creamy
nougat center


Perfect Incoherence:
CordialCactus: that makes no sense
CordialCactus: or little anyway
PatientOnion3: perfect for this chatroom then



World Peas:

Beysshoes: yes candice. egg sackly.
CordialCactus: right.. so im more righter than you
PatientOnion3: it's the first day of hanukah, lighten up
Dinosaur Vagina: I wish people were more indifferent, think
of the peace
Beysshoes: yes candice. you win.
CordialCactus: Word.
Beysshoes: now candice. spell proper pls. you know its wurd
CordialCactus: imagine whirled peas
Beysshoes: creeps told us so
PatientOnion3: i have my first porkball boiling for a taste test,
another batch of chocolate is on the way, i got some oranges,
and mustard greens for the ceremony



Remembering Evel:

VaginaMangler: may we all bow our heads in mourning for
the greatest man since jesus christ, evel knievel?
TDNA983: how did he die?
Beysshoes: da. amen.
VaginaMangler: bow you head dena you filthy miscreant
TDNA983: ok damn its bowed
VaginaMangler: (while you're down there)
VaginaMangler: however he died, you know he is sitting at
the right hand of our lord, eating fried chicken and wearing
that ridiculous red white and blue jumpsuit with the
4 inch collar
Beysshoes: if allan were here, he'd know
Beysshoes: like elvis, james
Beysshoes: how kind you are in your imagination james


Dog-loving, Man-hating:

PatientOnion3: bey bought a chinese-made stuffed dog at toys 4 us
Dinosaur Vagina: I washed and hung my pups to dry
Beysshoes: that's not funny homer.
PatientOnion3: but it ain't the same, cuz when she kicks it,
it doesn't yelp
Dinosaur Vagina: they're swaying on the line right now
Dinosaur Vagina: the yelping is annoying Onion
Dinosaur Vagina: and to be honest
Beysshoes: yes. 'tis
Dinosaur Vagina: sometimes it's more gratifying kicking a man
Dinosaur Vagina: therefore
Dinosaur Vagina: save a dog
Dinosaur Vagina: kick a man
Beysshoes: sometimes more gratifying?
TDNA983: hell yeah
TDNA983: i agree
Dinosaur Vagina: always Beys always
Beysshoes: thare ya go
Dinosaur Vagina: but I wanted to give Onion hope
Beysshoes: iffin he was catholic a st.jude might help. but no.


Sheriff On the Way?:
Gypsyjo47: I have been walking around on my farm in my
boxer shorts but I think that is about to end shortly


Songs You Need to Hear:

Godwit935: I remember that one too, "Fighting soldiers
from the sky, fearless men, who jump and die...."
Godwit935: "Men who mean, just what they say, the brave men,
of the Green Beret..."
EDruezillaB: How can you be drunk and be so boring.
EDruezillaB: I thought alcohol helped make people more interesting.
Godwit935: ED, maybe you need to hear these songs.


Come and Get Me:

Godwit935: I say it right here, as an American, and for all
to hear: Mohammed is an ugly dog, an unkempt poodle! So there.
Godwit935: I'm insulting the prophet. Come and get me.
EDruezillaB: Oh, here, let me break a law in a country 8,000
miles away! Come get me! I'm such a badass!


Cool Date:

LeslieHapablap: creepy loner and i will cruise in the
lexus listening to fiona apple and barfing up our lunch.
ParaMyrrh: haha
ParaMyrrh: cool


3 Teams in Our Bowling League:
CordialCactus: wampetters, foma and granfalloons


French Kissing a Bulimic:

Verneuker: Creepy and Lez are Bulimics?
LeslieHapablap: i prefer the term "weight aware".
ParaMyrrh: Bulimia is a fine life strategy in moderation
Verneuker: nothing like French Kissing a Bulimic...its kinda
like a grab bag
CordialCactus: ew
Dinosaur Vagina: I'll take your word for it
Dinosaur Vagina: gives new meaning to sharing lunch


Koon Cussin:
CordialCactus: there is a writing duo, with books like that,
but i havent been able to think of their names and its
bugging me... they're a cross between cussler and koontz


A Novelty:

BinxB91: Leslie, CordialCactus thinks you're clever
PatientOnion3: cordial lives out in the country, she never
talked to a real live jew married to a homosexual before,
leslie is a novelty
LeslieHapablap: binxb91, she has a poptart in her cd-rom.


BookShelf Diagnosis:

LeslieHapablap: prospect26, why do you suspect you have shingles?
Prospect26: Leslie...numbness at my waist...a hand's width.
Tired, Headache. Trouble expressing some words.
Creepy Loner: Sounds like me, although I've never suspected
that I have shingles.
LeslieHapablap: prospect26, that is not shingles.


KatyTried Live:

BinxB91: LeslieHapablap: godwit935 is my best friend.
BinxB91: LeslieHapablap: doomgrl, you know i am not a pussy eater.
PatientOnion3: binx how did you do that?
BinxB91: BinxB91: Leslie, CordialCactus thinks you're clever
Godwit935: Binx, you must be tanked.
BinxB91: PatientOnion3: cordial lives out in the country, she
never talked to a real live jew married to a homosexual before,
leslie is a novelty
CordialCactus: lol
BinxB91: LeslieHapablap: binxb91, she has a poptart in her cd-rom.
Godwit935: Binx, you're Jewish?
PatientOnion3: wow!
Dinosaur Vagina: this is better than the first time
CordialCactus: tea bag!
CordialCactus: tea bag in my cdrom
PatientOnion3: katy tried live!


The Best Day of BlueMonk's Life:

Henrykrinkle912: one day she said she wanted to wait
until i was done with work so we could take the train
home together
Henrykrinkle912: she lived in fairfield
Henrykrinkle912: with some rich family
Henrykrinkle912: so in the four hours between when she got
off of work and i ended my shift, we hung out and enjoyed
one another's company
Henrykrinkle912: it was great
Henrykrinkle912: then we took the train home
Henrykrinkle912: some spanish kid came up to me one the train
Henrykrinkle912: and he and i started to play
Henrykrinkle912: i think this turned her onto me
Henrykrinkle912: we got off in fairfield and walked to a
nice restaurant
Henrykrinkle912: had a nice dinner
Henrykrinkle912: talked, nicely
Henrykrinkle912: more than nicely
Henrykrinkle912: i remember one story she was telling me about
a dream she had as a little girl that made her pee herself in
her sleep
Henrykrinkle912: then we took a cab to her place
Henrykrinkle912: talked on the couch
Henrykrinkle912: kissed
Henrykrinkle912: and i left
Henrykrinkle912: best date i ever had
Henrykrinkle912: i left my new montblanc pen at her place
Henrykrinkle912: when i called a week or so later, she had left
for norway
Henrykrinkle912: end of story
Forkrereredux: that's gay


Leslie's Question:

LeslieHapablap: godwit935, if you could witness any historical
event what would it be & why?
Godwit935: I'd have to go with the Resurrection of Jesus Christ.
LeslieHapablap: godwit935, i take it you are not jewish.

You Know What's Funny:

EDruezillaB: You know what's funny? The people on AOL who give out
their phone numbers or some crap and no one calls.
Forkrereredux: does that happen to you a lot, ed?


Minority Report:

Godwit935: I had an encounter with a minority man in the
produce department this evening. He was with his white girlfriend
and he said Mf real loud and I called him a jackass.
CordialCactus: did you call him that real loud?
Forkrereredux: lol
Dinosaur Vagina: lol
Godwit935: Cordial, no, just loud enough for him to hear me.
Forkrereredux: a minority man?
CordialCactus: well done


Noted:
CordialCactus: irony is the thinking mans whoopie cushion

When You Come back, Drop the "bunny":
CattiGuen: i plan on coming in here more often though
CattiGuen: yall are funny bunny peeps


Was There a Choice:
McLaryn5508: you guys have a great room...thanks for
letting me sit in...I will come back and visit!

HadaCho is Back/BlueMonk Stays On/
Another Katy/A Needy Beysshoes/
Hillary Out for Adoption


A One-Act Play:

Creepy Loner: Did you have another date, Godwit?
Godwit935: I have grown tomatoes in five-gallon
pots and they do well up to a point, but never as
well as in-ground tomatoes. Same for peppers.
Prospect26: And how about you? How long have
you been gardening?
Creepy Loner: Speaking of tomatoes and five-gallon
pots...did you have another date?
Knowjuan2: my peppers thrive in the pots
Godwit935: To whom are you speaking, Creepy?
Creepy Loner: You.
Forkrereredux: To youm.
Creepy Loner: Yron.
Knowjuan2: the tomatoes dont do as good but they
dont do to bad
Godwit935: Creepy, if you attach a name to the person
to whom you are speaking, it's much better.
Creepy Loner: I did.
Creepy Loner: Creepy Loner: Did you have another date, Godwit?
Creepy Loner: ...
Creepy Loner: Godwit.
CordialCactus: another? as in one previously?
Creepy Loner: Yes...
Creepy Loner: Godwit had a date.
Creepy Loner: He didn't say much about it, though.
Forkrereredux: Godwit has a boyfriends.
Creepy Loner: Mentioned it the other night.
Knowjuan2: you get some godwit?
CordialCactus: good for godwit... that shatters my hermit
image of him... yay
Godwit935: Creepy, it's tired out....get a new schtick.
Creepy Loner: I'm not cracking jokes - I'm asking about
your date.
Creepy Loner: Tell us.
Creepy Loner: We're interested.
Godwit935: Creepy, speak for yourself.
Creepy Loner: Was your date funny?
Creepy Loner: Tell me.
Knowjuan2: inquiring minds want to know
Creepy Loner: I'm interested.
Prospect26: my first garden was in 1970...
Creepy Loner: See?
Forkrereredux: godwit, fork has to urinate. will you open
your mouth?
CordialCactus: interesting: Know wants to know about
your date.
Godwit935: Creepy, try coming up with something interesting
to say or talk about. You too, Fork.
Creepy Loner: We are talking about something interesting...
Creepy Loner: You're not.
Creepy Loner: Tell us about the date.
Forkrereredux: godwit's mouth ~~~> =-O <~~~ fork's urine
Godwit935: Creepy, you're too dull.
CordialCactus: yuck fork
CordialCactus: the word urine is good for what it decribes
though
Forkrereredux: Godwit935: Mmm. I likes watersports :)
CordialCactus: yucky word for a yucky waste product
Godwit935: Sigh.
CordialCactus: overusing the word yucky
CordialCactus: alright.. off to read
Knowjuan2: rofl, poor wit
CordialCactus: toodalloooo
Creepy Loner: Adios.
Forkrereredux: godwit, when are we going to the bar?
Creepy Loner: I want to go to the bar, too.
Creepy Loner: Baseball is over, right?
Knowjuan2: i quit drinkin and drugin a couple years ago
Godwit935: Fork, in earlier times, had I met you in a bar,
you would not have fared well.
Prospect26: I have been gardening since 1970.
Forkrereredux: is that right, godwit? how can you be so sure?
Godwit935: Fork, from experience.
Creepy Loner: Godwit would have ripped Dr. Fork a new
*sshole with his razor-sharp tongue...
Forkrereredux: lol
Knowjuan2: rofl
Forkrereredux: godwit is a thug
Creepy Loner: Yo.
Creepy Loner: Yo yo.
Godwit935: You know when you're in trouble in a bar, Fork?
Forkrereredux: when they run out of yuengling?
Godwit935: When the door is locked behind you, Fork.
Forkrereredux: what kind of hillbilly bar is that?
Creepy Loner: Dundundun!
Godwit935: One short, Creep.
Forkrereredux: what happens when the door is locked?
Creepy Loner: For the real "lockin' the bar door" theme?
Knowjuan2: i think thats when the razor sharp toungue
starts to protrude
Godwit935: Fork, you take a beatin'.
Knowjuan2: boing boing boing
Creepy Loner: Hahahaha
Creepy Loner: Oh, this is great...
Godwit935: It's silly to you boys, I know.
Forkrereredux: what bar is such a thing happening in, godwit?
Prospect26: Lady...my daughter drove the ambulance from
Edwards to Denver. Yeah...
Jam7604801: fork remember the blue oyster bar on police academy?
Godwit935: Well, this is too tired out for me. Good night, my
fellow Americans.
Creepy Loner: My fellow Americans?
Creepy Loner: What a c*ckhead.
Creepy Loner: That was f-ing great.
Jam7604801: i don't understand why people don't like Witicus
Creepy Loner: Someone needs to save that conversation...
Forkrereredux: in what bar does such a thing happen?
Creepy Loner: In Godwit's bar...which should be called
"I'm Really Not Gay"
Prospect26: I need to sign off and get ready for vacation...



What Binx Gave to Beysshoes:

Phezziwig13: Hey, my computer is going nuts
Phezziwig13: Finally, we understand each other
Beysshoes: ... oh you prolly caught binx's virus. i did.
Beysshoes: yah, he had porn popping up all over the place
Beysshoes: if it was allan it wouldn't be a problem... but no.
Creepy Loner: Heh.
Creepy Loner: Sounds like my set-up.


That the Family Bouncer Was Busy at T-Giving?:

CordialCactus: i have a question about cousins and
being twice removed... what the heck does it mean?


Finding a Friend for Godwit:

HCSMAUI: You know, in thinking about it, it makes no
difference what a persons sexual preference is. God is
the judge on judgement day. I am no judge. I am sorry
if I offended any gay people here. I am not gay and have
no desire to be gay but that is my choice
HCSMAUI: I will not judge you.
Vanda52: hes all yours bey
Beysshoes: lolol wow i missed something good here
Beysshoes: no homophobe friends for me allan. but thx
for the thought
HCSMAUI: I am a true homophobe
Beysshoes: wait for godwit, ... you'll be in good company


"Vanda isn't gay":

HCSMAUI: I am waiting for Lyn
Phronsie: Poor Lyn.
Various704: hcs........can i fill you in on something?
vanda isnt gay. but he is taking the piss out of you.
but you seem to do a better job yourself.
Phronsie: What did she ever do to deserve you.
HCSMAUI: I cannot believe any of you. I will wait.
Thank you
Beysshoes: maui, cannot you change yoh nick?
so pipples dunt know you is from here?
HCSMAUI: Lyn has found a very nice man to talk to.
I know she is married and I respect that.
HCSMAUI: KMSA
Beysshoes: kmsa? kiss yoh stupid ass? that's rude
HCSMAUI: That is not what it means
HCSMAUI: Your definition defines you
Beysshoes: maui ... i dunt care. sorry.


BookShelf - Ya Gotta be Strong:

ElizabethTudor7: So this is the rude room today?
ElizabethTudor7: again?
HCSMAUI: No, people are rude the room is fine



BookShelf Counseling:

Is She Weird 55: sorry..
Is She Weird 55: it's taking me a while
Is She Weird 55: and little things get my hopes up
and then they come tumbling down
BinxB91: I want to write Hillary a love poem but can't
think of anything that rhymes with Hillary, Subway, or
Carniverous
Phronsie: lollollol
Forkrereredux: rape
Phronsie: scuppernong
Is She Weird 55: i used to have people who loved me...
but i'm not sure what happened
BinxB91: There once was a girl from Akron/
Who never took to saccharine
Hadachoke: carniverous
Is She Weird 55: i still love them
BinxB91: Is that the real Hada??
BinxB91: Hillary, you're just in a slump
Is She Weird 55: i'm always in a slump
Forkrereredux: you should drink
Is She Weird 55: i have bad posture too
BinxB91: a ballerina with bad posture???
No Way!
Is She Weird 55: yeah..... not when i dance
...just when i walk
Phronsie: Hard to imagine
BinxB91: Like an actress with a stutter
Phronsie: twirling around in a slump
Is She Weird 55: shut up
Is She Weird 55: God
Phronsie: en pointe in a slump
Is She Weird 55: I suck! okay! i suck at ballet
Phronsie: we didn't say that
Is She Weird 55: that's why i'm spanish senorita
soloist in the nutcracker
BinxB91: Or a sculpture with atheritis
Is She Weird 55: that's how much i effing suck
Is She Weird 55: and I dO!
BinxB91: should we argue with her further?
Phronsie: Binx, I don't think it's helping.
Phronsie: she seems determined to wallow


A Thin Disguise:

Hadachoke: I've developed a new vegetable, closely
related to the Artichoke. Named it Hadachoke because
my last name is Hadad


"oh kool ... yeah please":

NOKTURNALvne: what kind screen name is DinosaurVagina
Dinosaur Vagina: it's pretty self explanatory Nok
Dinosaur Vagina: need a pic?
NOKTURNALvne: oh kool
NOKTURNALvne: yeah plaese


A New and Better Katie:
Katiesofar: <--sitting on the book shelf...swinging legs
Katiesofar: <---drinking my beer


Candice Giggling:
CordialCactus: i love it when people say they need to
take a roast out of the freezer to "unthaw" ..makes me
giggle every time


Out-Forking Fork:
Teacher2057: OK let's see if I get tortured lol
Forkrereredux: do you enjoy a belly full of semen, teacher?
Teacher2057: as long as you're not lazy and don't call me stupid
Katiesofar: do you think you could actually produce a belly
full, Fork?


Cultural Revolution (they should have listened to their Moms):

Dinosaur Vagina: cultural revolution, what time period was that?
Kgbirdpaul: late 60's early 70's
Dinosaur Vagina: in China?
Kgbirdpaul: yes
Dinosaur Vagina: it's not still going on
Dinosaur Vagina: with western influence?
Kgbirdpaul: students were encouraged to beat up their teachers
BinxB91: About the Cutural Revolution, try To Live and Die Shanghai
Kgbirdpaul: lots of nice things like that
Teacher2057: a black panther, huh
BinxB91: DV, it wasn't about culture
Dinosaur Vagina: who encouraged?
Kgbirdpaul: the cadres
Dinosaur Vagina: oh
Kgbirdpaul: the political bully boys
Teacher2057: is this the socialist room tonight
Various704: yes
Teacher2057: oh well, then bye
BinxB91: Teacher, why would you think that??
Dinosaur Vagina: was it a violent book Kg, or
thought-provoking?
Teacher2057: because I was asked to look up fela kuti
Various704: you get it teach?
Kgbirdpaul: yes, wake up working class, throw off your
chains and smash the capitalist oppressor blood suckers
Teacher2057: that is a black panther radicalist bye
CordialCactus: and btw, dont eat the aqua dots
Dinosaur Vagina: sound advice from a Mom, Cactus


A Real Creep Does Not Greet:

Creepin deth68: heya fellow creep
CordialCactus: hello newish creep


Book Recommendations:

Catpower777: Kg, I just started Bridge of Sighs this week
CordialCactus: Kg... just finished a memoir called,
Bright Lights, Big Ass by jen lancaster


Dreaming of Being Homeless:
Katiesofar: bbl....my child is trying to sleep in a
cardboard box on his bed


Gratuitous Letters:

Godwit935: I am reading this book by this Dominican guy,
it's called, eh....what the heck.....The Brief Wondrous
Life of Oscar Wao. It is not very good.
Godwit935: Full of gratuitiious, ignorant ghetto obscenity.
CordialCactus: strike the 2 superfluous i's


Venting:

Gypsyjo47: My wife is insisting on making chicken and
dumplings tomorrow. I HATE FUCKING DUMPLINGS!


Warn Us First:

Is She Weird 55: i also got pulled over for stopping at
a flashing yellow light
Is She Weird 55: Riding dirty
Is She Weird 55: they see me rollin they hatin
Is She Weird 55: hahaha
CordialCactus: hillary.. suggestion... can you type
before launching into verse?


BlueMonk at McDonald's:
Henrykrinkle912: one time i blacked out and woke up
in that big bin of colored balls in mcdonald's
playland and the spanish girls had the giggles when
i ordered coffee


Born During Deer Season:

CordialCactus: i havent celebrated a birthday since
marrying into my husbands deer hunting family
Godwit935: Cordial, are they ethical hunters?


Mr. Exacto on Erotica:

Henrykrinkle912: i've written some erotic chat before
Godwit935: Erotic chat.
BinxB91: yes, Henry, I remember that
Henrykrinkle912: hehe, yw
Godwit935: Funny phrase.
Tryst27pt: Erotica is hot
Dinosaur Vagina: now the truth comes out
CordialCactus: ive written erotic chat with a typing
lisp ... was kind of fun
Henrykrinkle912: god, that's why i typed it
Godwit935: How can chat be erotic?
CordialCactus: LISP!!!
Henrykrinkle912: some more questions, please, someone
Is She Weird 55: What the duck?
Godwit935: No, the term, chat, excludes eroticism,
is what I mean, Tryst.
CordialCactus: lol.. i love the way that when you state
something, it must be true, it couldnt possibly be any
other way, because you declare it so
Godwit935: Doesn't chat imply lust?
Godwit935: I mean, when you chat, you chat. Chat can't
include lust.
BinxB91: Godwit, like this --- "unbuttoning ..."
Max The Obscure: I've a boner the size of rhode island
BinxB91: and the same shape max?


Gypsy as Helpful Adult:

Gypsyjo47: Weird child, listen to me...smoking is fine
but you control it, don't let it control you
Is She Weird 55: I DONT SMOKE!


BlueMonk and Hillary as a Couple:

Henrykrinkle912: is she, name a few bands you like, please
Is She Weird 55: hmm pixies, red hot chili peppers,
the killers, modest mouse, smashing pumpkins
Is She Weird 55: eww i think there's a bug in my hair!
Henrykrinkle912: anything less annoying?


Pipples Don't Trust Jokers:
Beysshoes: why does everybody think i'm joking and not
see the neediness in me? sigh

[In South Carolina, they'd treated him like a beast, and
he'd survived. He's grown bigger, stronger, older, better.
But having returned to the world he'd grown up in, he had
no idea how to sit in a room with his mother, or what to
say to this 16-year old girl, no idea how to get through a
few days in his life until he shipped to Lousiana for
Advanced Infantry Training, until he got back where people
would tell what to do.]


Friends Vanda Never Knew He Had:

Redneck granger: Where's Vanda?
ManiacEyeball: i stuck him in the oven
ManiacEyeball: he'll be ready in 40
Beysshoes: this is his usual daily masturbation hour redneck
Beysshoes: then he showers and sleeps
Madamehairymole: shoeho, you know him so well
Madamehairymole:
Beysshoes: yes madame
Beysshoes: he's me friend woot can i say?


Beysshoes Finds a Friend:

Beysshoes: hey you ingrate! i was starting the
hairymole club after youza!
Madamehairymole: O
Madamehairymole: really?
Beysshoes: yes, all members here must have moles surgically
implanted ...
Beysshoes: with hairs of different colors
Rozari: yuck. I'm out of here...
Beysshoes: those who resist this surgery must groom the others.
Madamehairymole: shoeho are you the sort who collects
extracted moles like some serial killer who collected nips?



Beysshoes of the Vague Subtleties:

Madamehairymole: what is the combined iq of these frackers?
Beysshoes: just over farenheit madame



Books Lose Again:

BatmanNC2: do people actually talk about books in here
Rozari: I wish we could
Beysshoes: from 11-11:15 on Wednesday nights.
BatmanNC2: oh...i see
Rozari: way past my bedtime
Beysshoes: but you can now iffin you want. but ya gotta pay extra
BatmanNC2: no thanks....the last book i read was in the 9th grade
Madamehairymole: bats don't sleep atnight
Beysshoes: or ya gotta touch madames mole 5 times.
Rozari: ewwwww
Beysshoes: soft.hard.soft.hard.soft
Madamehairymole: lay off your grabby fingers from my hairymole,
you horny dirty bich
BatmanNC2: whats this soft hard stuff
BatmanNC2: is that hairy mole or hairy hole....i need to
clean my glasses


Trying to Leave Polite:

Rozari: Batman, I'm off to look at your gallery. back soon. :)
BatmanNC2: i dont have a gallery
Rozari: you sure don't. Your link is broken.
Rozari: why don't you have one?
BatmanNC2: it was never there....its an AOL screw up
Beysshoes: batman, she just wanna leave polite and all. don't blow it.


Handy for Addicts and Drunks:

BatmanNC2: i cant wait to get a digital SLR
Madamehairymole: a new one is in the market
Madamehairymole: it's shake free
Beysshoes: whats that mean shake free
Madamehairymole: meaning your hands can shake like hell,
but the picture stays still
BatmanNC2: its not so much the shaking....its the delay
Beysshoes: oh that's handy for addicts and drunks yes?



The Benevolent BookShelf:

Is She Weird 55: i come in here because even though
i'm annoying and can talk about some immature issues,
i guess you guys listen better than anyone i know

WHAT A MESS!
(Your Nicky is Icky)


Poopooing Pharmacopland:

ParaMyrrh: Rush is a huge fan of Pharmacopaland
where there's a pill for every pain,
setback and sadness
ParaMyrrh: he was a Oxycontin addict
ParaMyrrh: for "pain treatment" pain at being a
fat asshole
Catpower777: he a bigger fan of poopooing legitimate
illnesses
Ta21l: is poopooing a real word?
Catpower777: Ta, it is if you teach Pre-K


Inoculate Before Dressing Up:

Ta21l: although, the boyfriend and I decided last night
that next year, we're throwing a Halloween party..even
planned out our costumes
Ta21l: he's going as a vampire and I'll be going as a
Renissance woman with lots of cleavage and two bite marks
on one breast
Ta21l: I'll give you three guesses who's idea the costumes
were


Gypsy's Cousin:

Gypsyjo47: I have a cousin who has been married 5 times,
always to a younger model. I have no idea how he pulled
that off, but he did.
Gypsyjo47: His last one is younger than his child by the
first one
Catpower777: Gyps, is your cousin Rod Stewart?



Fork as the Invisible Man:

Forkrereredux: .
Dinosaur Vagina: so Fork, were you a spoon for halloween?
Forkrereredux: .
Various704: fork is making sense. white font rocks
Dinosaur Vagina: well he is a visionary


People Not Like Us:
Duwamish Head: ever notice how things just don't seem
the same since dime bag daryll died?


Match-Making:

Phezziwig13: I'm going to change my name to Elephants
Penis and talk about Spaghetti Westerns in here
Dinosaur Vagina: promise?


Life With the AP Bimbo:
Is She Weird 55: and my dog barfed on my superman pjs


Vincent the Drama Queen:

Duwamish Head: yeah they told vincent van go
gh "hey, the object of a painting is, after all,
to make a buck"
Duwamish Head: he disagreed, apparently
Dinosaur Vagina: maybe he didn't hear them Duam
ManiacEyeball: killing himself was a good business move
though
Catpower777: yeah, major drama queen, that Van Gogh


BlueMonk is Back:

Henrykrinkle912: someone ask me some questions, please
Henrykrinkle912: my scrabble site is down
Dinosaur Vagina: ok, what do you do with seven letters
and no vowels Henry?
Henrykrinkle912: swap


The News From Subway:

Is She Weird 55: some guy at subway sometimes comes
in and he like, puts a bajillion onions on his sub
Nomdujourxx: a bajillion is a lot?
Is She Weird 55: and then there's a hot guy omg he's
hot.. he always gets a veggie sub and i was always like
omg they are for gay guys but not this guy
Duwamish Head: gay guys eat subs?
Duwamish Head: veggie subs?
Is She Weird 55: you smell a bit like coffee and taste
a bit like me
Is She Weird 55: yes, veggie subs usually
BinxB91: Cather in the Rye is new product at Subway
Is She Weird 55: binx that's not funny


BlueMonk Continued:

BinxB91: Ever cooked dinner for a woman?
Henrykrinkle912: certainly
Henrykrinkle912: my mom and sisters
Henrykrinkle912: my wife
Henrykrinkle912: her mom and sister
Henrykrinkle912: i like cooking
BinxB91: Do you and your sisters ever share secrets
about your romantic lives?
Dinosaur Vagina: wow Binx
Dinosaur Vagina: these are some entertaining questions.
Is She Weird 55: where are you thinking of these questions?
Henrykrinkle912: my sisters are both mildly retarded, actually



Actually I Was Thinking of Colonizing Korea:

Beysshoes: binx, you're the closest thing to an imperialist
japanese i've met besides my dad.
BinxB91: HOW AM I an imperialist Japanese???
BinxB91: Para is right, Beys --- you are a Fruit Loop
Beysshoes: you try to make me talk less, and stuff like
that binx
BinxB91: Beys, that makes me an imperialist???
Beysshoes: yes
BinxB91: Beys, you failed Political Science, didn't you?


But Nags isn't That Easy:

Beysshoes: fezz, how did you get back on aol pls?
i wanna tell nags.
Phezziwig13: I had to sleep with this girl in India



OXYmoron:

Madamehairymole: i am a moron with high IQ

Maybe She Means It's Extinct?:

Madamehairymole: vagina, your sn is a bigger ego
Madamehairymole: as if inviting big dicks
Dinosaur Vagina: my Sn has meaning you couldn't begin
to comprehend
Madamehairymole: there is only one fracking meaning
Madamehairymole: it is that nurse in"curb your enthusiasm"
whose vagina is super large sized
Dinosaur Vagina: well you're entitled to your opinion,
hope you enjoy it
Madamehairymole: as in XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXL


He Doesn't Return Her Calls Even After All the Time
Spent Holding Up His Poster With One Hand:

Jhd730: I am mad at Tom Brady



Pool Hall Chat:

ParaMyrrh: Colts are gonna kill the Patriots and their
coach Bill Bellicheat
ParaMyrrh: and yes Im willing to BET
Jhd730: no way Para.. penis-faced Manning is going to lose


Delusion:

ParaMyrrh: Jane I like what you posted on Emma's blog
JaneH56: Kal I posted nothing on emma's blog.


Vanda's Job:

Madamehairymole: he said he wanted to open a stripclub
and get you ladies to dance at his joint
ParaMyrrh: Vanda should be a limo driver for a Celeb
that'd be hilarious
JaneH56: on his joint or at his joint.?
Beysshoes: yes para!
Beysshoes: the stories he'd tell!
Madamehairymole: jane you are one dirty bich
Madamehairymole: hahahahha
JaneH56: yep madame. you guess it.
Jhd730: I still stand by my job for Allan..
he should be a paperboy


Resume:
ParaMyrrh: I can poop anytime anywhere squat
and drop or public restroom doesn't matter



Long Island men:
LynBelle: I cannot go back to the house my mother
lived in for the last 50 yrs
LynBelle: my brother now owns it and he keeps it locked up,
he lives on Long Island



So Sad:
Beysshoes: derby is cryingcrying ... she see's her dog
runner playing basketball with friends.
Beysshoes: he said he'd be here to run her. but that was
2 hrs ago. HA!



Times Have Changed:

Jhd730: so check this out...my son was going to be a
vampire in school tomorrow but the school sent home a list
of things NOT to bring to school because they are considered
"weapons" ...fangs was one of the things
Jhd730: can you believe that?
Beysshoes: sheesh jo ... sux for kids nowdays
LynBelle: those little wobbly fangs, big deal
Jhd730: when I was in high school I went to school dressed
as the grim reaper and brought a REAL sickle to school..
I could have cut off dozens of arms and legs before the
caught me...how times have changed
Dinosaur Vagina: Wonder when they'll outlaw real teeth.
ParaMyrrh: Jo but he can wear jeans that fall down to
show his underwear


No Offence:

Various704: and here was me getting sentimental. i realise
now i actually hate most of you. no offence.
Jhd730: Various?? even me?
Various704: :)
Creepy Loner: That's all right, Various.
Creepy Loner: Understood.
Creepy Loner: I hate most of us, too.



A Beysshoes Halloween:

Jhd730: Bey, what are you making for kids for halloween?
it'll just get throw out by the cautious parents
Beysshoes: NO jo
Beysshoes: they are cute li'l treasure bags and toys
Beysshoes: all soft clothe animal dolls
Beysshoes: and stuff
Jhd730: no one will accept homemade anything from the
"kookey lady that lives in that house"


Hard Ass:

Jhd730: I used to keep a few cans of creamed corn and
saurkraut by the door for the late night 16 year olds...
Jhd730: I'd drop that in their bags and say
"you like veggies right"


It's About Beysshoes Re-Naming:

LynBelle: various, some people call you Derek and now
Oscar, which is it?
Various704: my name is derek
ParaMyrrh: Various Bey notices everything about the shelf males
Creepy Loner: I've never understood the whole "Oscar" thing.
Creepy Loner: What's that about?


Ambiguous Sexuality:

ParaMyrrh: Creepy you're asexual a seahorse of a woman
Creepy Loner: Oh.
Creepy Loner: Sorry.
Creepy Loner: [rolling a cigarette]
LynBelle: she is very attractive kal
Madamehairymole: creepy is a seahussey?
ParaMyrrh: Lyn I wasn't dissing Creepy I am sure
she is attractive
Madamehairymole: creepy PICS, stat
Creepy Loner: No.
Madamehairymole: why not
Madamehairymole: come on
Creepy Loner: I prefer to keep my ugly a mystery.
ParaMyrrh: But she has stated many times she has takn
up celibacy and hairy legs
Creepy Loner: Thanks.
Madamehairymole: hairy legs HOT
Dinosaur Vagina: the two do go together
Jhd730: hairly legs are only hot to male dogs


You Frackers!:

LynBelle: madame, I want to know where the mole is
Madamehairymole: lyn, why
Creepy Loner: Why not?
Beysshoes: madame, she wants to touch it but it
depends on where it is.
Madamehairymole: shoeho that is just fracking psychotic
LynBelle: who in the hell is shoeho?
Beysshoes: me lynbelle
ParaMyrrh: Lyn her name for Bey
Madamehairymole: are you frackers like hair probia or something
Beysshoes: its an endearment.
LynBelle: I just keep visualizing madame with this long
hair coming from that mole on her face and she keeps
sucking on it
Madamehairymole: :-D=-O:-P:-*
ParaMyrrh: ha
ParaMyrrh: good image
LynBelle: hahahaha


The Alpha Gorilla:

Madamehairymole: why does the name amber remind me of
porn actresses?
Beysshoes: bec she used to go steady with allan madame
AmberHighWinds: some of you have halloween inspired s/n's?
Madamehairymole: o hahahahha shoeho
Creepy Loner: Amber, Just Dinosaur Vagina.
AmberHighWinds: oookkk
Madamehairymole: seems like allan the dude is the resident
alpha gorilla eh
Dinosaur Vagina: I do?
Beysshoes: that DV nicky is sooo icky



But No Recipe?:

Madamehairymole: i may cook pig kidney today yes
Beysshoes: !
ParaMyrrh: (guitar solo)
Creepy Loner: [belch]
Dinosaur Vagina: best to save some sentiment for eulogies
Madamehairymole: tomorrow i am planning on pig intestines
Madamehairymole: large and small intestines
Madamehairymole: i just consumed a quarter of a large pig liver
Madamehairymole: but i am still hungry
Beysshoes: drink the blood mole
ParaMyrrh: ravenous
Beysshoes: fry it first.
Beysshoes: blood sausage
Madamehairymole: shoeho, best to solidify it first
Madamehairymole: cut into cubes
Beysshoes: truism
Madamehairymole: and yes cook in soup
ParaMyrrh: insatiable
Various704: sounds lovely
Beysshoes: para gonna hunt you down now mole ... its his fave





Dr. Penrod is In:

Iz2Bornot2B: But first guy I fell in love with after my
ex, had a relationship with
JaggedMetalPill: put your hand in this bag of candy
Iz2Bornot2B: for 6 years, and finally he tells me he is bi.
DAISYTRAIL: Weren't there any clues in 6 years?
Iz2Bornot2B: Very naive Daisy, in retrospect, yes.
Penrod59: Iz, you sound bright and perceptive.
z2Bornot2B: I am about most things, not men.
Penrod59: Live with a guy and blow him, bang him, and you
couldn't tell he was a homo


Penrod Not Being Fair:

Penrod59: sounds like she is afraid of men who exhibit
masculine characteristics
Iz2Bornot2B: I didn't dump him until he cheated on me.
Penrod59: Iz is a head case, and I'd steer clear if
I was anyone steering towards her
Iz2Bornot2B: Pen that's not fair. You don't even know me
Penrod59: Iz, you'd be amazed at how revealing this
place can be
Penrod59: I mean you'd be amazed if you had any brain


What Jagged Likes:

JaggedMetalPill: don't yall talk about books n stuff
Penrod59: Jags, we always switch to sordid animal
eroticism when you arrive so you feel comfortable
Penrod59: otherwise you "clam" up
JaggedMetalPill: i dint hear ya talkin about aminals
DAISYTRAIL: They were implied.
JaggedMetalPill: i like possums



Penrod Vs Izzy:

Penrod59: you are dumb and a female drone with little
capacity for analytical deduction
Iz2Bornot2B: You are being abusive to me by swearing at me.
Penrod59: and you think I deserve to be beaten for the
words I just typed to you?
Iz2Bornot2B: You don't know a damn thing Pen
JaggedMetalPill: i'm gonna pet a possum
Penrod59: I see I am outclassed in intellectual weight here.



Penrod vs Izzy, Round II/Daisy is intrigued:

Penrod59: someone please step in and help me
Iz2Bornot2B: I did not say that
Gypsyjo47: Pen you need to be scalded
Iz2Bornot2B: typical abusive man tactic
Tm0108: abusive? I'd call being married to a guy who
wouldn't tellyou he was gay "abusive"
Iz2Bornot2B: puts words in your mouth
Penrod59: you certainly did all but say it, Iz.
Read your text.
Iz2Bornot2B: I did not marry the bi guy.
Various704: now now children. im going to send you to
bed and gypsy will shell the orphange if youre not nice
DAISYTRAIL: A woman here killed her husband while he slept,
after suffering a lifetime of beatings.
Iz2Bornot2B: No, Pen, I did not.
Penrod59: Iz2Bornot2B: Maybe you talked to her the way you
are talking to me before you went to sleepl
Tm0108: you blew him and cooked for him..same diff
DAISYTRAIL: The jury set her free.
Iz2Bornot2B: Well, you claim you did nothing. Absolutely nothing
Iz2Bornot2B: But you have proven to me, you can be very
abusive with your tongue
DAISYTRAIL: Tongue abuse? Hmmmm.


Round III:

Penrod59: I have "proven" nothing to anyone, but
you have drawn conclusions based upon a stranger's
(my) musings made in a chat room to amuse himself.
DAISYTRAIL: You're just in time for round 3.
DAISYTRAIL: Pen vs Iz2
Penrod59: I can see you are truly weak and full of
fear and stupid
Jhd730: give me the gist in one sentence so I can
join in
Iz2Bornot2B: You do not know me, yet you have said
things to me to amuse yourself that are abusive.
Penrod59: I feel sorry for you, but I would definitely
stear clear of you in real life
Iz2Bornot2B: Ditto
Various704: i wouldn't even dream of hitting a woman
DAISYTRAIL: You'll be up to speed in a moment.


Feeling Sorry for Penrod:

2Bornot2B: And, I don't feel sorry for youl.
Jhd730: why would you feel sorry for Penrod?
Iz2Bornot2B: You are the kind who stays in denial,
Penrod59: I would never get close enough to you to
actually abuse you, even if in some weird parallel
universe I decided to meet you and become an abusive
person'
Gypsyjo47: LOVE IS IN THE AIR...iZ AND PEN!
Iz2Bornot2B: There are many parallel universes Pen,
shouldn't joke.
Penrod59: Jo, meet feminist clown Iz
Penrod59: why shouldn't I joke?
Penrod59: I shall joke away at will
Jhd730: oh my..I see that she believes in parallel
universes..just like that presidential hopeful
Iz2Bornot2B: Because everything you do and say comes
back to you in some way.
Penrod59: leave congressperson moonbat alone, Jo
Penrod59: I see: I'm rubber and you're glue.
Gypsyjo47: A femenist is just a woman who hates her
husband and needs a good lay, that's all


Izzy Surrendering:

Iz2Bornot2B: How old are you Pen?
Iz2Bornot2B: Were you born in 59?
Penrod59: yes
z2Bornot2B: 3 years older than me
Penrod59: and infinitely wiser
Iz2Bornot2B: ditto
Iz2Bornot2B: totally intuitive and physic
Jhd730: I just figured out your sn...and it's stupid
Penrod59: Iz, it truly is silly for a person your
age to throw the label "abuser" around indiscriminately
as a means of assuaging your fears and insecurites
Gypsyjo47: Pen and Iz will be in the loft soon, then?
Who knows...
Iz2Bornot2B: LOL, couldn't think of anything else, so gave
up and went with it.
Iz2Bornot2B: It is dumb, I know.


Feminine Infallibillity:

Penrod59: and it's obvious that you have been indoctrinated
into a sort of cult that worships a mythical and false
feminine infallibility
Penrod59: the terms you use give you away
Jhd730: but Penrod is an online abuser..he's made me weep
tears of frustration many times
Iz2Bornot2B: I have overcome my fears and insecurities Pen,
but you clearly have a foul mouth.
Iz2Bornot2B: And took it out on me.
Jhd730: he doesn't believe in rainbows or butterfiles and
bashes unicorns relentlessly
Penrod59: Jo, thank you for your support. I'll beat you later,
just like I promised
Jhd730: yippeeeee


Puh -- lease:
2Bornot2B: I study quatum physics and metaphysics, not femnism
Penrod59: liar
Jhd730: quantum physics and metaphysics??? and you
visit the bookshelf...puh lease


I Don't Have the Statistics:

Iz2Bornot2B: How do you define feminism? I like having a
door opened for me.
Penrod59: Iz, do you think more men, or women are responsible
for child abuse of any kind, sexual, physical, and emotional
all included?
Iz2Bornot2B: I don't want to fight in the war.
Penrod59: this will give you away as a mindless drone
Iz2Bornot2B: I haven't read any stats on that Pen. I don't know.




But Imagine Being Married to a baby:

CordialCactus: if my husband had not stepped on our
kitten, he would be 4 months

A Missed Appointment?:

Catpower777: why does naked moonlight dancing pop
into my mind